A Letter for Alan

Dearest Mr Rickman,

Today, I woke up with a heart of heavy lead. I didn’t think I would be penning this letter. Not today. Not for many years.

I don’t write letters for everyone, only old friends, people who I look up to and have the upmost respect for, people who taught me invaluable lessons.

And you, you were all those things.

It would seem a lie to say I never knew you, because I did. I knew you as Colonel Brandon, as the Sheriff of Nottingham, as Hans Gruber, as Harry in Love Actually.

But I knew you best as Severus Snape.

Growing up with your Snape was a gift I didn’t recognise until it was all over. Your Snape taught me that people have complex histories, complex moral structures, that people are not all they seem. That love continues beyond all bounds. Always.

I give as much credit to you for Snape as I do to J.K. Rowling. You were the face that taught us so many things, that taught us how there is no clear cut line between good and evil.

You have been one of the best actors this world has seen. A dastardly villain, an absolute sweetheart, and easily the only person who could have played a man with such complexities as Snape. I always thought we would see more of you, of your work. You had so much to give us, it seems a terrible injustice that you were taken before you could walk across the boards of a stage and take one final bow.

So, Mr Rickman – Alan – how can I begin to thank you for teaching me so much? I honestly can’t find the words to express my immense gratitude.

It’s raining here in Sydney. It seems rather poetic that the sky has opened up and is pouring with tears. I know so many of us will be doing the same.

If I had a wand, I would raise it in honour of you today, and shoot a light into the sky in remembrance. I hope you can see the light you struck inside all of us from where you stand now.

Because our hearts are ablaze with your memory.

All the best,

Hayley New


So I’ll raise my broken wand up high
And shoot a light into the sky
To clear away the rain and grey
That crept in with your loss today.

For Alan. Always.


© Hayley New 2016


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